what's it worth?

::something i wrote while at passion conference::

How amazing is it, that so many people, different races, different places, different experiences, yet with the same heart and same passion for the one things that pulls us all to the same place, worshipping, honoring and adoring: God.

GOD...so righteous, holy and lovely--no man can comprehend! Why did he choose me? I.have.been.called. Called with and for a specific, divine purpose; a journey made special for me. A life called to serve only one God. Called to a life of righteousness, of purity, of courage, of persecution, of faith and of great reward. Will I accept? Will I crucify my flesh to take on a life purposed for me? How much am I willing to give up? What will I have to sacrifice? But why is this even a question when He gave up his everything for me? Yet, am I really willing? How much do I really love Him? True, honest and passionate, unselfish and committed love? Is it real in my life? Do I want it to be real?

Before the monotony...

While most students were enjoying their last few days of Christmas break in their familial homes, Brett and I were left alone with maybe 10 other girls to roam the halls here in Hart Hall. It was nice for the first couple days, to sleep in past the noon hour without shrieks or loud thumping down the hallway. But after waking up, our bodies finally filled with rest, we decided to get busy having fun before it was time to return to the monotonous days of lectures, the hard stares at the whiteboard trying to read what the prof is writing but can't because the marks from the previous class haven't been fully erased, the agonizing hike up the hill to get to lunch and the dorm, the pouring over books (wait, I did that?? --scratch that---), the uneasiness in our stomachs after dining at the cafeteria and eating leftovers from 3 days ago, as well as the 3am bedtime.....before returning to all that, Brett and I decided to seize the days! Here's what happened:










the epitome of Tennessee










Brett and I went on a picnic on Friday because it was so warm. Notice we're in t-shirts and I'm wearing shorts. It was 70 degrees outside!!














Four days later...it was snowing: 23 degrees.










Brett and I played Scrabble with the suitemates. If you've played Scrabble before, you know there's only ONE "Z" and ONE "X" and ONE "Q"....? Yeah, well I drew them ALL! And had them at the same time. So the game got kind of tricky. Brett and I were playing with two English intellects, so we decided to be on the same team and share letters and help each other out. It was TEAMWORK!! What's wrong with that? Well, the other girls didn't understand that, so they threw the game! And we won!! We then went on to build a tower out of the Scrabble tiles and holders!









We have some spare time to rearrange our room. This is the before shot...But before we could get to the "after" finished product, we dropped the bed frame a couple times, I ran over Brett's toes twice, I dropped the metal bed spring from six feet up, among a few other things.







This is close to the finished product. Brett is moving the cables and wires around the bed. As you can see from this picture, the person on the top loft does not have an easy way up. That person is me. While I am quite agile, I like to think as agile as a gazelle, lifting my leg six feet up and hoisting myself using pure strength is near impossible without having the loft topple over on me. So Brett and I have figured out one way: while she's awake, she raises her knees up and I step on her knees and up into my bed. However, when she's asleep, I can't wake her up everytime...so I've learned to straddle her bed, step on the windowsill and up onto the loft. The first night after I was finally settled in, I turned to face the open room and was met with a whirling gust of wind. This wind was coming from the air vent which was directly across from me. It's not always the warmest air, and it was hard for me to sleep while feeling like I was in a tornado. Brett rigged our vent with some cardboard and duct tape to force the air to blow down into the room. I sleep much better now.


This is just one of the amazingly gorgeous sunsets we've been experiencing down here. Check out the awesome clouds! And yes the open spots in the clouds with the sun were REALLY that bright!

Life-altering...

Passion Conference 2007:

**23,000 college students from
**20 different countries
**In one city: Atlanta, GA
**Avg sleep per night: 4.5 hours
**Avg standing-in-line-for-food: 45 min.
**Avg standing-in-line-for-good-seats: 1hr 30m
**Avg decibels for praise & worship: CFC x 25
and that's pretty loud!
**Avg walking distance per day: 2.5 miles
**Time spent with God: 24/7



I went with a group of 40 students from a church here in Johnson City. The church paid for our hotel and it had been rumored we were staying at the Hilton. Well, it wasn't a rumor. Our caravan: a mini-bus, van w/ U-haul, suburban and sedan, arrived in downtown Atlanta at 430pm. The first session of the conference didn't start until 7 that evening, so we figured we had a couple hours to chill in the rooms. As we fight our way into the crowded lobby, filled with 200+ other confused college students, we are told our rooms won't be ready for another couple hours. So what are 40 people with 2 bags of luggage each supposed to do when their rooms aren't ready? Do what 10 other groups of 30+ did....pile luggage against the wall in the lobby and wait. Brett and I were tired so we made space against the wall and attempted to sleep--which is hard to do with the roar of students milling about.


It came time for us to leave to go to the session, and as we were leaving they told us our rooms were available, but it was too late, we had to hurry to the service. Our luggage must wait. (Sidenote: once we finally got our room keys and headed up to the rooms...it was quite an adventure. The hotel had 27 floors...we were on the 17th. There were 8 elevators, but amazingly it was about a 20 minute wait to even get on the elevator. Not to mention, stopping at every floor because someone on each floor had to get on or off the elevator. Or if we were going to the conference in the morning, people were trying to get on, on each floor--and I wish I could've taken a picture of the peoples' faces when the doors open and they see that not even a hamster could fit on the elevator. Finally, after waiting for 15 minutes, and after seeing the elevator doors open 7 different times, each with a slam of rejection...one opts for the stairs...yes 17 flights of stairs. That equals 299 steps, but not like I was counting.) So back to the story...we were onto the session. No one knows for sure which direction to head, we only know to follow the mass of people. We walk 7 blocks to get to our main session. Because there are so many students, an overflow "room" (more like warehouse) was needed. Everyone was assigned to one of 4 groups, and these groups switched out between the huge arena and the overflow. It was our group's turn to be in the overflow. I was kind of disappointed, because who wants to be in the overflow on the first night, watching the session via satellite on the big screen? Away from the many thousands of students all gathered in the arena?? We hurry in and find some seats in the back balcony. I see the stage and realize we're going to have a live band and then the preaching will probably be via satellite. The musicians take the stage and who is it? None other than Chris Tomlin...the one person I really wanted to lead our worship! It was amazing!! Then Louie Giglio came onto our stage and welcomed us as well as the people over in the Philips Arena across the street. The two venues were able to say "hi" to each other. Our overflow venue contained about 6,000 and the other 17,000 were in the arena.

After the main session, all 23,000 of us split into 20 community groups, divided by wristband color (separate from the other wristband telling which venue to be in). Within each community group, there was a leader and then a small praise and worship band, basically a "mini-session." Within the community group containing 800-1000 students, we were divided again into family groups of 8 people each. This is my family group...from Mississippi, Illinois, New York, North Carolina, Kentucky...all over. Throughout the week, our community groups would meet before the morning session and after the night session to discuss things over and have an intimate group setting to be able to talk about whatever was on our heart. Each family group had a leader and I was nominated to that position. My job was to "facilitate" discussions. I didn't realize how hard this would be. But for eight people to talk to each other on a deeper level than initial conversation was somewhat difficult. Some people don't like to open up to seven complete strangers, yet others pour their heart out. Finally by the second to last meeting, we were able to find a balance, but it wasn't easy.

After the morning sessions, the conference provided box lunches for us....yeah that's right 46,000+ box lunches over the course of two days...that's insane. There was only one restaurant in Atlanta that took up the task: Lenny's. The lunch included: a sub sandwich, bag of chips, apple or orange, bottle of water and a cookie. Not bad for a box lunch! I don't know how many hands it took to make 46,000 box lunches, but may the Lord bless them. For dinner however, it was every man for himself...as you can see ..this was the food court attached to the arena. This was near dinner time...about 530pm. And it is PACKED out. If you wanted food and didn't want to stand in line for more than 30 minutes...you better be eating at 4pm. It looks as if all these people are standing around or walking to their destination...false; they're actually all standing in line for dinner. But the lines were so long they began to intertwine so you always had to ask, "Is this the line for Chick-Fil-A?" or "Are you standing in line for Arby's?" After standing in the masses to get food, one did not even consider trying to find a table to sit at---instead, head for the doors and find a clear spot outside on the sidewalk.



In this picture, people are leaving from their community groups to go to the main session. Yes, it's true..the escalators were ONE-person escalators, which caused for quite the traffic jam sometimes. I remember watching from above once, as people were standing in line for the escalator to the next level---but more people continued to come up the escalator from the previous floor, causing a sort of domino effect...it was hilarious. People kept stepping off the escalator but with nowhere to go because there was a line in front of them..so they kept smashing into the person in front of them! By the last day, there was finally some clarity: when you get on the escalator, you WALK up or down it to make things move more smoothly.







David Crowder was definitely the crowd favorite: him and all his craziness. The arena was a madhouse. Everyone was on their feet the whole time, praising and worshipping with David Crowder. I will admit, after he was finished, my eardrums were not the same.







Part of the Passion Conference was a mission called "Do Something Now Campaign" geared solely towards serving the poor, seeking the lost, and helping the needy. (Get ready for these statistics I'm going to give you..) The goal at the beginning of the conference was to raise $500,000 for all these different causes. Now, I don't know what kind of college students YOU know...but most of the ones I know...are poor. The word FREE is the most frequently used word in their vocabulary. But Louie Giglio addressed that issue and said "You can still do it!!" Half a million?? Pocket change. There were several different ways to get involved...I will list the Goal and then what was actually Achieved:

**Chinese Bibles sent to specific Chinese people who had requested them, along with a commitment to pray for the person for one year:
Goal: 5,000 Bibles sent
Achieved: 6,500 Bibles sent + 1 yr. prayer commitments

**Build wells in Africa $10/person:
G: 11 wells at $3,000 each
A: 38 wells for $3,000 each and 1 well in Sudan for $12,000

**Bricks to help build Freedom Student Center in Iraq
G: 500 bricks --- $500 at $10/brick
A: 2,400 bricks = $24,o00

**Money for the Freedom Student Center
G: $50,000
A: $65,000

**Students to honestly pray about going to Iraq for one year to work among the Kurds at the Freedom Center
G: 30 students
A: 150 students



**Surgeries paid for, for children in Central and South America
G: 50 surgeries
A: 100 surgeries w/ a matching donor, so really: 200 surgeries

**Money to send African college students to college for 4 years. $200/month for 4 years
G: 20
A: 14, but with more pledges on the way

**Money to translate the whole New Testament for the Dehlah people group in Indonesia at $20/verse. Once you paid your $20, you could go and highlight the verse on the big board for which you paid for.
G: The whole NT for the Dehlah people
A: The whole NT for the Dehlah people, the whole NT for the Recuh people and enough to pay for over half of the NT for a third people group; ($150,000 to translate the NT)

Uh yeah---pretty impressive for college students, eh? Brett and I committed to sending a Chinese Bible, praying for our persons for a year, as well as giving money for the wells in Africa. Along with giving for the well, they asked us to commit to drinking only water for 2 weeks, to help us remember what we did and to pray for the Africa people.
In all, the group of 23,000 college students raised over $700,000!!!!!!!!!! God can do amazing things!!! Wow.

The last night we had a candlelight service out on the lawn. The "lawn" was no bigger than 2 acres...and we all squeezed on there. It was kind of tricky with everyone holding a candle--you had to be careful not to get too close to the person in front of you. They moved the stage outside as well as one of the big screens and we had a worship service out there...it was awesome! Before the service started, as we filed in from our community groups, they asked that we not say a word--remain completely silent until we heard the singing start from the stage. I don't think you can comprehend 23,000 "kids" in complete silence for 30 minutes...unless you experience it. COMPLETE silence, no talking, nothing. It was a-mazing!

God really spoke to my heart in two ways: one of the speakers talked about really and truly loving God. He asked us, "are you in TRULY in love with God?" Of course my immediate response was, "well yeah...I love God." But then, I really thought about it...and what does it mean to really love God? To be in love with Him? I had to repent because my heart was not where it should have been. Also, I think God has really put a burden for missions on my heart...so I need to keep praying about that. It's not something I'm used to--it's something new for me, but I like it :)

And so, if you've just spent the last 20 minutes reading this post, YOU are awesome...because it's pretty dang long. But basically: Passion Conference was awesome and God rocks my face off!!!

Christmas Vacation!!

Charis and Beth were trying to get at Phil's
curly hair.














Stephen, unaware of Beth's vampirish ways.

















Josh, at 4am, ready to take on the nosey neighbors.











The newly engaged...practicing their stunt for the wedding
reception.


















My beautiful Mommy!!













How cute is she? The California freckles :)













What??












Lunch with a best friend.













My awesome brothers!!














Like father, like son.

Not so wise anymore...

Yesterday morning was somewhat a traumatic morning for me. I waited until the last possible moment, until I could put it off no further. I held out longer than each sister, but alas, the time had come. I visited the maxillofacial surgeon, Dr. Mohler (appropriate dental name, huh?) He is a very nice older man and made me feel at ease--well as much ease as one can feel before going under the drill. I felt like I was being strapped down: they put these clamp things on my arms, I assume to keep an eye on my pulse, and then the little finger-clamp thing for my pulse as well. I had a blood pressure wrap on my right arm and then the IV went in my left arm. Before the IV, came the nitrous gas. I've encountered the gas before when getting a cavity filled, so I knew what was coming. "Breathe through your nose." Okay..so I begin. Really though, it didn't have quite the "floating--whoa" feeling that everyone talks about. However, while breathing I remember Phil's story of his hysterical laughing while breathing this stuff. I started to giggle, but knew if I started, I wouldn't be able to stop, so I quickly brushed that thought out of my head and waited for the said crazy state of mind. The nurse came back in and said, "Breathe deeper, Miriam!! Deep breaths!" OHHH! so that was why I couldn't feel any effects. As I began to breathe deeper, Dr. Mohler comes in to put my IV in. The nurse prepares me, "This might hurt a little." Dr Mohler informed her that I've given blood a few times so I knew all about it. The last thing I remember hearing is, "This will put you to sleep in a few minutes." And BAM! WHAM!! One hour and four less wisdom teeth later, I hear, "Miriam, open your eyes.." I slowly opened them, because it felt like I had 2 tons of steel resting on each eyelid...I peeked them open but decided it was much better to keep them closed. The nurse returned with the wheelchair and reminded me to open my eyes again, and told me that I needed to wake up. UGH! All I wanted to do was sleep, didn't she know that!? But like an obedient patient, I got into the wheelchair. I don't remember being pushed down the hallway, in the elevator, or getting into the car. But there I was and Mom was putting a blanket on me, brushing away my tears and handing me Kleenexes. I came home and chilled the rest of the day, slurping down some chicken broth and applesauce. My first experience with Vicodin...wasn't really one to talk about; Nothing unusual really happened except I was really nauseous and at one point Phil looked like he had black make-up around his eyes. Yesterday (Day 1) was one of pain and sleep. Today (Day 2) I'm feeling much better--but much more swollen, kind of like a chipmunk collecting acorns for the winter. Hopefully the swelling will go down and I'll be able to go back to some state of normalcy this Christmas.

Merry Christmas, guys! Don't forget to thank the Father for his gracious and merciful gift: His Son. XOXO!

Who Says Women Can't!?

My dad Kurt-O was blessed with four daughters to love and raise. This in itself shows God's humor. Because you see, my father grew up building cars, constructing engines, etc. I mean how could he not? His dad was the one who built a homemade helicopter and his grandpa built one of the first lawnmowers in Indiana! He had in his genes to be an automotive man. My dad was the coolest kid on the block. When he was five, his bicycle was the only one with a steering wheel instead of handlebars! Beat that, Joe Smith! He helped his dad build motorcycle engines as was his profession. My dad drove a motorcycle as his ride on the first day he got his license. (Ask him about being pulled over by an officer for not looking old enough to have a license..on his first day!) He has owned a plethura of cars of the years: Fiat, a couple Jaguars, a Scirocco (only 600 ever made). We girls always ask in disbelief, "Why did you sell the Jags!!!?" He answers as only the best dad in the whole world could answer, "Well, I had to choose between a family or cars. I chose a family." So with starting this new family, I'm sure my dad had visions of having a couple sons, at least one to pass on the family name and the car knowledge....but instead God chuckled and said, "Girl." "Girl." "Girl." and "Girl." Now if you ask him, he says he wouldn't have it any other way---yet I can't help but notice how happy he was to talk to Phil about his Jeep when he was having problems; or better yet, how excited he got when Scott told him he owned Slot Cars. It was like watching a kid open their favorite toy at Christmas. His eyes lit up and he began talking faster with a higher pitch in his voice. :) Slowly, my dad is gaining the sons he never had. But let's back up and talk about what a man is supposed to do when he has so much car knowledge to impart, but no son to impart it to. He does the next logical thing: pass it to the daughters!! Brilliant! While we were growing up, Dad was always sure to name every car in every movie made prior to 1975: brand, model, year, special accessories, etc. I mean, this guy knows his stuff! Dad and I used to play the headlight game---name the oncoming car by the headlights--I got pretty good at it. Every year he and my grandpa go to a car show in Auburn, IN and Cindy has gone with them the past couple years. His love of motorcycles has been passed down: Cindy has her motorcycle license and I'm hoping to get my permit this coming summer. He's taught each of us , the obvious: how to check the oil, two or three of us how to change the oil, how to change tires on our cars. So you see, my dad has done a nice job of infiltrating us to some degree. There are two of us daughters who have really taken an interest in cars: Cindy and I. The other two--well they care, but there are more important things than gaskets, cylinders and pistons. So now the object of my narrative:

Down here in Tennessee, I drive quite often. Indeed, I drive my car almost everyday. I'm about to make my 400+ mile journey home to IN, but my oil needed to be changed first. I'm always a promotor of "If you can do it yourself, do it." Right? Right.. first step: go buy a filter, 4 qts of oil, oil wrench (because I couldn't find one to borrow). 2nd step: find an oil pan to borrow (got it!). 3rd step: find a place to change the oil. See that step was a little trickier than the rest. I don't have jack stands or blocks--and couldn't find those anywhere around here. My genius friend CT decided to make use of the small ditch bordering the outside of the parking lot. I pulled my car up to the ditch, balancing one side on the pinnacle of the cement ditch and the other side in the grass. This worked out very nicely. So there I am in the middle of campus crawled underneath my car, unscrewing the oil bolt. I'm not gonna lie, a few males walked by and stopped and stared...in awe. Out comes the oil---down with the filter---in with new--dump in 4 quarts and buddy we're back in business. Approximate time: 20 minutes; which might I add was pretty good for me being my first time by myself and only watching my dad once. As I arose from underneath the car, I hear a male voice saying, "I'm impressed." So Dad---Thanks for teaching me how to prove to those unbelieving males out there: who says women can't!?

Dead Week.

So this week is known as "Dead week" on campuses across the nation; for good reason too. You see, now is the time when college students have realized in less than a week and a half, there will be no more school. No more school = freedom to sleep in without the downfall of missing a class or a meal; freedom to stay up late just for the heck of it rather than trying to finish a paper due in less than 6 hours; freedom from the ugly grasp that a bathroom has on a college student due to it's tag team partner: the cafeteria; freedom from the monotonous professors that unconsciously use hypnotic devices while lecturing. There are many advantages that come from the end of a semester. But alas, in the back of the mind there is this thought: I still have FINALS week! And before FINALS week...I must face Dead Week! And so now...dead week is upon us. This is the week students remember all of the projects, posters, papers and portfolios assigned at the beginning of the semester are now due in less than 2 days = "ohhh snap." Or for some, it's the time to take the "pre-final" tests that profs intentionally or unintentionally (you decide) assign for this week.

So please, if you remember: pray for those of us who are in this unfortunate, draining week. Also, for those of us who, procrastination is second nature and lose many hours of sleep trying to catch up and complete all assignments, and then try to function with 4 hours of sleep. (Not me, of course, but others....)